Prozac and Whimsy

It’s no secret to anyone that I’m struggling at the moment. Everything feels too much, it’s all too fast and too loud. I’m constantly overwhelmed or right on the verge of being so. I almost miss being underwhelmed and to be honest I’d quite like to just have an adequate amount of whelms about me for a while. I’d like there to be a day that was just all a bit meh.

I always do things to the extreme. Always take things too far. I joke that if you don’t take it too far then how do you know you have gone far enough? I fully believe in shit or bust. If you are going to love something love it with all of your heart. If you are going to try something give it your all or else what is the fucking point? Half assing anything is a waste of time and effort for everyone involved.

I’ve spent today listening to Tool who never half ass anything. I saw them a while back and while it was a dreaded arena show there were moments where I forgot that there was anyone else around me or anything else going on anywhere in the world. The only other time that has ever happened to me at a gig was when I went to see Courtney Love and she hitched her dress up to get a foot on the monitor and flashed her knickers to the audience (they were red and lacy). In that split second nothing else in the universe existed, there was just me and her and it felt like it lasted forever. I’m not a pervert. Or at least not that much of a one, she is just my first love and she can do no wrong in my eyes.

Tool have been around forever at this point, slowly releasing albums and showing everyone else how metal could and should sound. BUT I have a theory that they can’t and won’t ever release a solid 10/10 album as it would melt peoples minds. I know a lot of this will tie in to the last post and me picking fault in things but does Ænima really need things like Message To Harry Manback? an actual Intermission and whatever the fuck Die Eier von Satan is meant to be? My take is no, no it doesn’t. Much in the same way that Infernal Love (another topic for another day) doesn’t need the samples that cushion the tracks and Songs For The Deaf (another another topic for another day) doesn’t need the radio skits.

The momentum that is lost between Hooker With A Penis and Jimmy because of the intermission is frankly fucking criminal. It’s like musical edging and not in a good fun way.(-)Ions has absolutely no need to exist. But if you took all the fluff out it would be a mind boggling intense album. Tool always feels like they find what they are doing almost too easy so they have to throw a bone occasionally for their own amusement, and this is how you end up with fan theories on the correct running order for Lateralus.

Maybe I am over thinking all of this or maybe I’m an idiot but if there is a real running order for your album… just release it like that in the first place. If you want to be this mental intense metal band with insane time signatures and epic 13 minute long songs then just do that.

Tool are a phenomenal band, one of the very best I have ever seen (best gigs is another another another topic for another day). They haven’t released a bad record and I think that would be impossible for them at this point but they could all be better. But we could all be better. I could be better. I want to be better.

I need to be better.

And I’m trying, I really am.